Sometimes love needs a helping hand. And extended family members can be a big help when you’re faced with the challenge of raising a teenager. How can extended family members help? 1. They can offer reassurance, share experiences, and help you to gain perspective. Especially if they’ve raised difficult teenagers and have lived to tell […]
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Having a child get caught up in a cult can be a frightening, frustrating, even a tragic experience for a family. How can you prevent such an occurrence in your family? • First, take steps to strengthen your teen’s self-esteem and his traditional religious or other altruistic ties. Teens most vulnerable to cults are those
Are you a perfectionist? Consider what your perfectionism has or hasn’t done for you and what it may be doing to and for your teenager. Being ambitious, hard working, and goal-oriented can be quite different from invariably demanding top performance from yourself and from your teenager. • Perfectionists work under unrelenting tension, and this takes
It can be a shock to discover that your teen is having sex. You may feel anxious, angry, disappointed, and distressed, and wonder “What do I do now?” Here are some suggestions: • First, take time to collect your thoughts. Calm down if at all possible before discussing the matter. Lashing out at your teen
Perhaps your child’s teen years are on the horizon, or perhaps they’ve already begun. These can be difficult, demanding years, ones that require emotional preparation on your part. How can you prepare yourself as a parent? • First, work on your own self-esteem, so you can withstand with wisdom, insight, and good humor the occasional
The noted psychologist, Eda La Shan, has said, “The only way to raise a decent human being is by being one.” Kids learn most readily, for better or worse, by your example. • You can raise your teen to be open minded and accepting of others, free of hurtful prejudices, if you keep your own
The turbulent times of adolescence can mean trouble at school, either academically or socially. If your teen’s grades have fallen, talk with him and his teachers about this to discover the reason. Make sure that he has enough structured study time and completes homework assignments on time. • Consider a temporary dip in grades as
How can you best discipline a strong willed teenager? The following are a few parent-tested guidelines. • First, give clear messages about household rules and limitations. Let them know what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t. • Second, accent the positive. “Do’s” make a stronger impression than “Don’ts”. • Third, give your teen increasing responsibilities
Creating happy memories as a family can be rich reserve of good will to draw on during stressful times. These don’t have to mean peak experiences – they can be simple moments, family traditions and activities you enjoy together. Creating happy memories can mean doing something alone with your teen, going to a concert or
Not all peer pressure is negative. Much of it can be positive if your teen is in the right peer group. How can your help him or her in this regard? • First, help your teen to find special interests and peers who share these interests by participating in group activities and organizations. • Second,
Many teens who have sex don’t use birth control, initially or ever. Why do they take such risks? Quite often it’s because they believe certain birth control myths. These include: 1. “Birth control is unromantic.” Ask a teen how romantic pregnancy or fears of pregnancy might be. The fact is, using a reliable method of
Some people, especially teens, think sex and intimacy are the same, but that’s not so. Some have sex without emotional intimacy. Others have intimate relationships that don’t include sex. Still others are able to build a lovely combination of emotional and physical intimacy. Let your teen know that intimacy, above all, means feeling safe in
Besides physiological facts and pertinent warnings about sexually transmitted diseases, there are five important, and all too often overlooked, facts that teens need to know about sex. This is what you might tell your teenager: • First, sex is an acquired skill. People expect miracles when they first have sex, not realizing that people need
What can you tell your teen about saying no to sex? You might give him the following reasons to abstain: • First, abstain from sex if you don’t know anything about birth control or if you’re too embarrassed to seek or use birth control. Until you can learn about and have the emotional maturity to
Telling your teen to “just say no” to sex may not be nearly as effective as helping him or her find their own best reasons for saying no. You might say to your teen: • First, say no if you don’t feel ready. Feeling ready, instead of pressured, can make sex, when you finally choose
Once a teenage girls starts dating it is only natural for her parents to have concerns about her sexuality. Your daughter should not be surprised if you want to talk, because hopefully you have discussed these issues with her in the past. Tell her that it IS harder for you to talk about this now
A mother in New Jersey wrote to me recently concerned about her sonâs acne. It had reached such a heightened level of severity that he refused to leave the house. She was desperate for ideas to help her son. I told her that whatever she does, donât respond by telling him âEveryone your age has
Last month you gave advice to parents who had just decided to divorce. How about tips for those of us who have to deal with problems after the divorce? I often encounter stress when my 13-year-old visits her father, my ex-husband. It just seems to be such a hassle. — G.A., McAllen, Texas Your daughter
You may see the first signs in her tension and tears or by the remnants of a home pregnancy test in the trash or your daughter may share her fears with you directly. What is the best course of action when your daughter fears she may be pregnant? While home pregnancy tests are undeniably convenient,
Competition for admission to top colleges has spawned whole new industries-from individuals who will coach a student and his family through the entire admissions process to firms that prepare students for standardized tests such as the SAT and ACT. Some community centers, high schools and community colleges are getting in on the act by offering
