Love to a child is a four letter word spelled T I M E. Spending time when you can, even if you are a busy working parent, is what tells them clearly that you love and value them. Children remember the tiny moments you spend with them, and the simple things you do together, not the money you spend, or “big productions” at parties.
It might take longer to go for a walk with the kids than it would take to find a video for them; it might take longer to bake cookies with them than buy the cookies, but you know what options mean more. It takes longer to say “no” if you explain the reasons for “no,” but it’s far more effective. It takes longer to use genuine, descriptive praise than to just say “good job”, but descriptive praise is far more meaningful. It takes time to listen attentively to a child without interrupting as they share an idea. But it is in all those little momentsâ¦those small snatches of timeâ¦that good communication, strong relationships, and healthy self esteem are built.
* Celebrate your children and their growth all year long by spending more time listening than “talking at” them. Get down on their level to look at them and respond.
* Find ways to praise them, not only with words but body language that says “I love you.” Hugs, pats, smiles, winks, ruffling the hair and cuddling really count.
* Make your praise describe exactly what you see your child doing that you like. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Avoid generalizations like “great” or “nice.”
* Use the heart shape to say “I love you” all year. Put heart shaped notes in unexpected places as surprises. Drip the pancake batter in hear shapes. Bake heart shaped cookies and make heart sandwiches. Put a heart shaped balloon in the child’s closet.
* Find a heart shaped stone for your child to carry in a pocket, especially when you’re apart. If you’re away, mail a post card with just your name and a heart on it.
* Fill a hug request jar with heart candies. When someone gives another person a heart, it means that a hug is needed.
* Remember that kids listen more to how you say something than the exact words you use, and they also understand your love better from what you do than what you say.
Evelyn Petersen’s nationally syndicated parenting column is carried in over 200 newspapers twice each week. As a family/parenting consultant, early childhood educator, Head Start consultant, and host of a series of parent training audio and video tapes, Ms. Petersen employs an approach of providing hands-on, nuts and bolts advice to parents across the country.Evelyn Petersen’s nationally syndicated parenting column is carried in over 200 newspapers twice each week. As a family/parenting consultant, early childhood educator, Head Start consultant, and host of a series of parent training audio and video tapes, Ms. Petersen employs an approach of providing hands-on, nuts and bolts advice to parents across the country. You can read more from Evelyn at her web site: www.askevelyn.com
