Adolescent Ambivalence: Child/Young Adult, Love/Hate

It’s sometimes sad that the only life experience as difficult as being a teenager is being the parent of a teenager. Much of this difficulty comes as the result of a teenager’s ambivalence toward his parents. One minute he may be loving, fun and affectionate and the next, uncommunicative, unreachable and impossible. He may alternate between insisting he’s old enough to make his own decisions and then expect his parents to nurture him and take care of him. This can be confusing for parents and for teens.

Independence is a gradual process and occurs during adolescence with big steps forward and little steps back. As a parent you need to be as supportive as possible to a teen’s ventures into young adulthood and his needs as your child. Give him gradual responsibility in all areas of his life and support reasonable, appropriate behaviors. At the same time, try as much as possible to reassure your growing child that you love him unconditionally and are there to help and guide him through this time of change.

An expert in the field of adolescent behavior, Ms. McCoy has authored eleven books on the subject including the best selling “The Teenage Body Book”. Additionally she has written hundreds of articles for major national magazines. Coordinator of the Clinical Ph.D. Program at California School of Professional Psychology and Staff Counselor at the Center for Individual and Family Counseling in North Hollywood, California.