It’s part of every parent’s nightmare: a teen daughter gets pregnant, your teenage son causes a pregnancy, or your teen tells you that he or she is gay. What can you do? First, contain your own feelings. Listening rather than lashing out can make a vital difference, not only in the resolution of the sexuality […]
Problem
If you’re feeling middle-aged, tired, in a rut, and less fit than you used to be, it isn’t surprising that you might sometimes envy your teen’s physical beauty, strength, youth, and seemingly limitless life choices and opportunities. These feelings of envy are understandable, giving some of the losses of middle age. But ask yourself if,
Adolescents aren’t necessarily better equipped to deal with divorce because of their age. Anger and uncertainty are normal reactions for these kids, although they may be more adept at hiding these feelings. • Adolescents are learning to separate from the family as a unit and their growth toward independence, and divorce poses additional conflicts for
Most outrageous behavior during adolescence is normal. It’s temporary; it causes no harm to self or others. It doesn’t interfere with normal school or family functioning. Most adolescents muddle through this difficult search for independence and identity, but sometimes the passage of time isn’t enough. If your adolescent has any of the following behaviors, he’s
Underachievers perform below their potential at school. They don’t finish their school work and homework. If you help them with homework, they lose it or don’t it in. The main cause is your child’s reaction to pressure and interference around school work. Poor grades become a way of proving his independence. The harder you try,
By age 12, 3% of youngsters still wet the bed. Most of them have a small bladder, one that can’t hold all the urine produced at night. By this age, I have my patients go directly to a bed wetting alarm. Modern alarms are portable, lightweight and respond to a few drops of urine. If
Dressing, talking, and acting differently than adults helps your teenager feel independent. Most of these objectionable habits and preferences merely reflect conformity with your teen’s peer group. Try not to criticize him about these “no win” topics. Too much criticism can destroy your relationship. So “back off” as they say. • Don’t try to change
Some talking back is normal. We want our teenagers to express their anger through talking, and when a teen challenges our decisions and opinions in a logical way, we need to listen. Expect your teenager to present his case passionately, even unreasonably, but let the small stuff go; it’s only words. On the other hand,
Many fat teenagers have high blood pressure and high cholesterol, in addition to emotional problems. Being a fat adolescent can have a devastating effect on self-esteem and self-confidence. If your teenager is on her way towards being fat, or is already fat, she needs help. She doesn’t need your criticism or ridicule, but rather your
Traditionally, the dangers of early sex have been regarded as emotional and social. Certainly becoming involved in a sexual relationship and then losing that relationship can cause intense pain to a young, inexperienced adolescent. Getting pregnant at a young age and deciding to keep the baby can seriously threaten a young woman’s health, and limit
