Saying “No” to Kids

Don’t be afraid to say “no” to your child. Children need limits. If you don’t make the rules, your child will. Left to their own devices, most children will spoil themselves, so start rules to protect your sanity by four months of age. Have rules for safety by eight months of age. Gradually add rules to teach socially acceptable behavior, starting at age one or two. Some parents worry that if they discipline their child too much he won’t grow up to be natural or creative. That’s really unlikely, but to prevent the extreme of over disciplining a child, here are some tips:

• First, don’t say “no ” too much. If in doubt about a request, say “yes” or at least “maybe, let me think about it”.

• Second, if the misbehavior is harmless, like a tantrum, ignore it.

• Third, if you’re caught in a power struggle about something you can’t control, like thumbsucking, switch from punishment to rewards.

• Fourth, make sure your positive contacts each day with your child outnumber your corrections and criticisms.

In summary, these guidelines will help you to find the balance between too much discipline and too little discipline.

During Dr. Schmitt’s 20 years as a medical practitioner and researcher, he has published over 100 articles or chapters on pediatric health care, and has been awarded the distinguished C. Anderson Aldrich Award by the American Academy of Pediatrics for outstanding contributions to the field of child development. Schmitt has also authored five books including Your Child’s Health, which won Child Magazine’s first Hall of Fame Award in 1991. Schmitt is also a professor of Pediatrics at the University of Colorado School of Medicine and on staff at The Children’s Hospital in Denver, Colorado.