When young children are angry, they scream or throw a tantrum. As they get older they say hurtful things like “I hate you!”. When they’re mad, they go right for the jugular. How should you respond?
First, respect your child’s need to express angry feelings. Don’t take these exaggerated comments personally. You can reply, “Well, I love you anyway,” but you still need to take that time-out, don’t allow that comment to change the rule.
Second, at a later time, discuss anger with your child. Explain how people who live together normally have both positive and negative feelings about each other. You can add, “Sometimes I get angry with you, but I always care about you.”
Third, if your youngster threatens to run away, you can calmly state, “That would make me very sad.” Most children then drop the subject.
Fourth, as your child gets older, she may try to put you on a guilt trip by saying, “You don’t love me.” Your response can be, “Of course I love you, but that has nothing to do with this,” and then stick to you guns about the consequence.
Finally, do children try to play psychological games on us? What do you think?
During Dr. Schmitt’s 20 years as a medical practitioner and researcher, he has published over 100 articles or chapters on pediatric health care, and has been awarded the distinguished C. Anderson Aldrich Award by the American Academy of Pediatrics for outstanding contributions to the field of child development. Schmitt has also authored five books including Your Child’s Health, which won Child Magazine’s first Hall of Fame Award in 1991. Schmitt is also a professor of Pediatrics at the University of Colorado School of Medicine and on staff at The Children’s Hospital in Denver, Colorado.