The National Parenting Center

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Sex and your dating daughter





Once a teenage girls starts dating it is only natural for her parents to have concerns about her sexuality. Your daughter should not be surprised if you want to talk, because hopefully you have discussed these issues with her in the past. Tell her that it IS harder for you to talk about this now that she is actually dating, but that it is still your job as a responsible parent to discuss moral, sexual and health issues with her and be there for her if she has questions.

You may want to say that you have always been proud that the two of you could discuss these issues in the past. You could say that you felt you knew how she stood in the past on the issues of morality, abstinence, and protection, but now that she is dating, you wonder if she has a different perspective.

Listen calmly and openly. Take time to think carefully before you respond. Continue to frame the discussion in terms of health, values and her best long-term interest.

No matter how practical and sensible a teen is, or how open she was about discussing sex with you in the past, it is still possible that she is now sexually active and possibly active without protection. Teens always think pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases cannot happen to THEM.

Ignorance of the facts is harmful; knowledge is not. Kids need to know the specific dangers of unprotected sex, just as they need to know how you stand on these issues. More than 50 organisms and syndromes are sexually transmitted. More than 1 in 5 Americans are infected with STD`s. Only one third of sexually active teens have annual physicals.

When did your daughter have her last physical? Has she ever seen a gynecologist? Would she prefer a woman doctor? These may be hard questions to discuss, but the alternatives…not talking about it…could be far worse.

Evelyn Petersen’s nationally syndicated parenting column is carried in over 200 newspapers twice each week. As a family/parenting consultant, early childhood educator, Head Start consultant, and host of a series of parent training audio and video tapes, Ms. Petersen employs an approach of providing hands-on, nuts and bolts advice to parents across the country.Evelyn Petersen’s nationally syndicated parenting column is carried in over 200 newspapers twice each week. As a family/parenting consultant, early childhood educator, Head Start consultant, and host of a series of parent training audio and video tapes, Ms. Petersen employs an approach of providing hands-on, nuts and bolts advice to parents across the country. You can read more from Evelyn at her web site: www.askevelyn.com

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