What to Do About Your Shy Teenager

If your teenager is shy, he has lots of company. Studies show that some 40% of Americans consider themselves shy. Why is your teenager shy? Some people have an inherited tendency to be shy. Others have low self esteem and feel unworthy unless they can be perfect. Some are plagued with anxious thoughts about whether or not they are liked. Some suffer from lack of social skills, not knowing how to start a conversation. How can you help?

• First, accept your teen as he is. Don’t push him beyond his abilities to cope at the moment. Help your teen take little steps toward conquering his shyness, to the extent that he can function in ways that he wants. The discomfort of shyness can fade with loving support and encouragement.

• Second, if your teen lacks social skills, help him to learn. Role play beginning conversations or asking questions. Practice builds confidence.

• Third, take care with your criticism. Let your teen know that he is loved and that your don’t expect perfection.

An expert in the field of adolescent behavior, Ms. McCoy has authored eleven books on the subject including the best selling “The Teenage Body Book”. Additionally she has written hundreds of articles for major national magazines. Coordinator of the Clinical Ph.D. Program at California School of Professional Psychology and Staff Counselor at the Center for Individual and Family Counseling in North Hollywood, California.